Wayne Gretzky to become Prime Minister of Canada in 2025
Movement to DRAFT WAYNE GRETZKY launched by this surprising politician
OTTAWA, ON – The Great One of hockey is set to become The Great Leader of Canada, that is, if Pierre Poilievre has anything to say about it.
The leader of the Conservative Party of Canada launched a campaign yesterday to DRAFT WAYNE GRETZKY.
“The great movement to DRAFT WAYNE GRETZKY is a call for great Canadians everywhere to sign a great petition to anoint The Great One as The Great Leader of our great nation,” Poilievre said.
Liberals and New Democrats panned Poilievre’s announcement, with NDP leader Jagmeet Singh going so far as to call it a “cheap political stunt.”
With public opinion polls over the last 3 weeks showing the CPC holding anywhere from a 20 to 25 per cent lead over the Liberals and New Democratic Party, Poilievre is in a strong position to become Prime Minister this year.
That being the case, it is unclear why he is calling on the greatest hockey play of all-time to replace him as party leader and run for office.
Andrew Coyne, a political and national affairs columnist at The Globe & Mail, says a sudden change in the political landscape following the resignation of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau earlier yesterday could explain it.
“Poilievre is now the most unlikeable politician on Parliament Hill. He has the most punchable face and annoying catchphrases of anyone in the House of Commons. With Trudeau out of the picture, he’ll get trounced in the next federal election,” Coyne said.
But CPC Director of Communications Sarah Fischer says Poilievre’s only motive is to do what is best for Canada.
“Pierre Poilievre recognizes what is in the absolute best interest of Canadians is drafting Wayne Gretzky to lead Team Canada through the turbulent waters of international politics as only the captain of 4 Stanley Cup winning teams can,” Fischer said.
The idea of The Great One returning to his home and native land to become its next great leader was first floated by President-elect Donald Trump.
Although Trump tried talking the National Hockey League’s all-time leading goals, assists, and points scorer into entering politics on Christmas Day, he was reportedly not interested.
However, should Poilievre’s DRAFT WAYNE GRETZKY campaign convince The Great One to change his mind, what would the career-politician do?
According to a CPC staffer speaking on condition of anonymity, Poilievre is ready to step away from politics to pursue other projects.
“It might come as a surprise to everyone that Pierre Poilievre isn’t your average, ordinary, run-of-the-mill geek,” the staffer said. “He’s a drama geek.”
According to this staffer, anyone who pays even the slightest attention to Canadian politics already knows this about him.
“All year, Pierre was cosplaying as Lieutenant Horatio Caine,” the staffer said, referencing David Caruso’s character from the early 2000s hit CBS series CSI: Miami.
Sources in the Canadian television entertainment industry confirm Poilievre’s aspirations of starring on the small screen.
“As soon as Gretzky agrees to captain the Conservative brand, Poilievre will resign his seat in the House of Commons to pursue a career in show business,” eTalk host Tyrone Edwards said.
Edwards says his sources at Rogers have told him that Poilievre has an agreement in principle with Citytv to star in CSI: Calgary.
All he needs to make it happen is for The Great One to “Bring it home!”